Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Confession 101

I wish I had a constant reminder for myself, a mental post-it if you will,
something to engrave inside my head, my heart and my soul that says 'I Am Enough'.

I should be enough. Why shouldn't I ?
But every now and then, there comes a situation in my life that makes me doubt myself.
My worth, my emotional intelligence, my capacity for logic,
all possible human insecurities come afloat and drag me around for days..

I try to justify myself to people, my actions, my way of being
justify who I truly am.. and the worst ? I consciously try to change or adapt myself
to fit in. To be more likable perhaps. To be the person someone else needs in their life.
To be.. less of me, and more of the image someone else will love.

But what about the real me ? My feelings and desires ? My illusions, maybe ?
I may be too much to handle, or I may be too little.. Who knows!

I just wish, knowing how to feel about certain things would become easier..

Sunday, June 07, 2015


It's ironic how we spend part of our lives building walls to avoid risks,
to avoid certain situations, or even certain kind of people..
And then.. something similar to the right moment, a good heart, an encouraging word
has the power to bring it all down.

You trust again, you smile again, you dare to dream again
and you pretend that somehow things feel different, they seem different
This time around, you are smarter, stronger, more alert..
and there is no reason to believe anything can go wrong

And life, as always, decides to deal you a hand that you just need to lose
it doesn't matter how wiser you think you may be,
It doesn't really matter what techniques you have under your sleeve, if any
it's not important if you think it's unfair

The walls came down, you took the risk and you failed
and now you are left with the what ifs and the wonder, the million questions that go unanswered
And the void and solitude each new day brings
maybe you just fell for a dream, and the dream once again let you down..

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

And so.. God..

I know you test my faith to keep me humble
so that with each new day I will recognize my own strength

I know you make some days seem longer
so I can learn how to appreciate the smaller things..

I understand that your reasons are stronger,
your purpose is wiser and with your guiding hand I shall never falter

I know that with each new battle you shape a better soldier,
and with each new challenge you carve another trait

I know despite my weaknesses, you keep me worthy of thy grace
never alone and never lonely

And I'll reach out to you, even in my darkest hours
knowing that I will find the peace I seek

My heart shall find your light,
and I will rest at night blessed with your company..

The Irony of Things ...

Life has had a funny way of changing in the last few weeks.
It has gone from up to way down.. to up again and a twister of emotions.
And as luck would have it, it has the sweet irony of kicking you when you are really, really down.

Even if you have the best of intentions or the best of wishes
you can absolutely be certain that you will be misunderstood and misjudged
and that no one will stop for a second to ask you a thing for clarification

It amazes me though, how one part of your life can be totally crumbling and falling apart
and the other remains, steady, unaltered, unaffected..

Humans should be able to process in robotic ways
Have some sort of support mechanism that allows you to separate the emotional part
from the rational one

I guess... I'll never get it.
I will still see the good in people,
still imagine the best of people and still will want the best for people
I just wished, for once, karma would do its magic and cut me some slack

Just for a minute, I'd like to have the option of saying
"Hey World! This is me, this is my stop.
This is where I get off"..