Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Suddenly I Realize ..

[ That I'm just that little piece of your puzzle..the one you leave for last,
because you are yet not sure where it's going to fit..]
That I'm clinging to something unknown,
without hopes or direction.. a path that could have no end..

That our promises are staying behind
wiped out by the storm of emotions that distract us..

That perhaps love is not enough
and the idea of enternal bliss is a simple misconception..

That fear of losing you is keeping me away
and just letting go, seems impossible ..

That a few days or a few weeks can change a person's character
yet there is that slight possibility of coming out of it stronger..

That everywhere I look and everywhere I go
the resemblance of your existence follows me..

[ ... ]

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Acaso se puede?

Como hace uno para reinventarse? Es que, al parecer eso suena como una transfiguracion genetica... es mas, es como si de repente uno se percata de que es un producto mas en el mercado y es tiempo de hacerse un "upgrade"
       Igual, muchos de nosotros hemos pensando miles de veces que necesitamos un cambio de actitud, ser mas positivos, mas dinamicos.. Un que se yo y un no se que nuevo.. Pero realmente se puede? Digamos que no nacimos con un "switch" oculto que podamos cambiar de posicion cuando nos sentimos de baja; o ponerle en off cuando estamos mas acelerados que un motoconcho, entonces que hacemos?

Hace unos dias un amigo me comento que el cambio debe ser interior.    Mmm... "mira vos.." - como diria El - ahora resulta que para sentirme mejor tengo que cambiar casi de leucocitos  y globulos rojos para tener una sonrisa en la cara y proyectar una buena actitud. Como no lo habia pensando antes! Esa es la respuesta! Claro, claro.. lo que yo necesito es una transfusion! 

Y que tal me pegan algo raro? O quien sabe, hasta peor que lo ya tengo!
   No, no, no y no! Me rehuso totalmente a que me tomen como conejillo de indias para cosas raras. Prefiero lidiar solita con la "depre" y el cambio de humor que parar de plano en un sanatorio.
      Ojo eh.. he dicho sanatorio, no cementerio.. que aun no estoy planeando ese viaje y por mas triste que este, no tengo complejos suicidas *thinks again.. goes back in time..mmm* . 

Y bueh.. ya vere que le hago a todo el asunto. Capaz solo tengo que tomarme unos dias off. Fuera de mi mente, fuera de mi rutina y despejar un poco las malas vibras; pa' mientras, le voy a pedir a mi compañera de tortura - digo, de trabajo - una de esas recetas para cambiarse la suerte y voltear la moneda. Mmmm.. en una de esas, facilito terminamos donde un psiquico y no donde el psiquiatra..


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I < THAN 3 U A.G.

[ ... ]

Why should I care,
when the simplicity of your words leaves me hopeless
why should the rythm of my heart stop
when your eyes run away from mine

In an instant, what was .. just stops existing
and everything crumbles
and the idea of losing it all is overwhelming

Why should I accept the present without looking back
ignoring everything that was said in the past
and the promises of an enlightened future..

A riddle that you created
and my walk into an endless laberynth ..
That's the simple remain of our existence ..

[ Y el amor que nuestras huellas marcaron en la arena de nuestro caminar, se mantiene..indeleble.. y aun te quiero..]


Saturday, April 05, 2008

It's one of those days..

It's again one of those gloomy days, when everything looks gray and no matter how much people tell you to look on the bright side.. you simply collapse and let life run thru' you.
  I have underestimated everyone's opinions at times; always have been considered as the one that "has all the answers even when I'm wrong". I think to err is human and we all have our days. I also think, that every now and then we are just in the desperate need of attention.

I have experienced happiness. For the past few weeks I have known nothing but joy, grace, inner peace.. and that sublime sensation of floating in a cloud for a period of time that seems eternal. I have felt something I cannot described, yet others way before my existence, have named it as love

I've taken for granted the whole feeling. I dared to believe that "love can do it all" and forgot that there are times when things and people outside of that personal cloud simply do everything and anything to prevent that happiness from glowing as it should.
 I now find myself, submerged in one of those days where I am simply MAD at the whole world. It's funny, how instead of taking it out on someone or something, I just sit down and cry..  

The fear of losing what has made me so happy, that someone that makes me whole just because of third parties has me shaking to the point of simply plummeting into chaos.

Maybe my sky is gray just because I chose to see it that way when I woke up. 
Mmmm.. Maybe I do have real reasons and it goes beyond my paranoia.  Whatever it is, I wouldn't like to cross path with someone dealing with mythoughts and emotions... 
The overwhelming feeling of not knowing what's next, yet the assurance of knowing deep down in the heart what you want.. it's a contradiction that dwells with the tears that fall slowly into the ground.

It's just one of those days ... with the full desire of disappearing with no trace, the agony of falling slowly into an abyss.. and the sour sensation of being hurt by someone else..